Give and Take Book Cover Photo

Give and Take Book Summary I Become A Giver

by

Share with:


Book – Give and Take (Summary)

Author – Adam Grant

Genre – Self-help Book

Published in – 2013

“Some people, when they do someone a favor, are always looking for a chance to call it in. And some aren’t, but they’re still aware of it—still regard it as a debt. But some don’t even do that. After helping others, they go on to something else. We should be like that”. —Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor.

Whenever we interact with another person at work, we have a choice: do we try to claim as much value as possible or contribute value without worrying about what we receive in return?

Professionally, few act purely like givers or takers, adopting a third style instead. We become “Matchers,” striving to preserve an equal balance of giving and getting.

Matchers operate on the principle of fairness: when they help others, they protect themselves by seeking reciprocity.

Adam grant photo

About the Author –

Adam Grant has been Wharton’s top-rated professor for seven straight years. As an organizational psychologist, he is a leading expert on how we can find motivation and meaning and live more generous and creative lives.

He is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of 5 books that have sold millions of copies and been translated into 35 languages: Think Again, Give and Take, Originals, Option B, and Power Moves. 

About the Book –

Adam argues that Givers are more successful, unlike what is commonly assumed, and provides startling studies and stories illuminating how giving can be more powerful—and less dangerous—than most people believe.

He further explains that Givers are found at the top and bottom of the Corporate world and explores what separates the Champs from the Chumps.

The book is divided into Two Parts –

PART 1 – unveils the principles of givers’ success, illuminating how and why Givers rise to the top. The main four areas explored are networking, collaborating, evaluating, and influencing.

PART 2 – shifts focus from the benefits of giving to the costs and how they can be managed. How Givers Protect Themselves against burnout and avoid becoming pushovers and doormats.

A few Key Ideas From The Book –

1) Takers, Givers and Matchers –

  • Takers have a distinctive signature: they like to get more than they give. Givers are a relatively rare breed. They tilt reciprocity in the other direction, preferring to give more than they get.
  • Takers are self-focused and look for what others can offer them, whereas Givers are other-focused and look out for what others need.
  • Professionally, few act purely like Givers or Takers, adopting a third style instead. We become “Matchers,” striving to preserve an equal balance of giving and getting.
  • Matchers operate on the principle of fairness: when they help others, they protect themselves by seeking reciprocity.

2) Self Fulfilling Prophecies –

  • According to one research, it depends on how teachers perceive their students. If they are told that students have more potential, they treat them differently than others, and as a result, these students achieve more.
  • Takers have difficulties seeing the best in others, as they see others as competition. Matchers wait for signs of potential before they commit support.
  • Givers, however, naturally look at people in terms of what they can become rather than who they are and, as a result, tend to uplift others.

THE POWER OF POWERLESS COMMUNICATION –

1) Dominance and Prestige –

  • Research suggests two fundamental paths to influence: dominance and prestige.
  • When we establish dominance, we gain influence because others see us as strong, powerful, and authoritative. When we earn prestige, we become influential because others respect and admire us.

2) Powerful v/s Powerless Communication –

  • To establish dominance, takers specialize in assertive communication: they speak forcefully, raise their voices to assert their authority, express certainty to project confidence, promote their accomplishments, and sell with conviction and pride.
  • Powerless communicators (Givers) tend to speak less assertively, expressing plenty of doubt and relying heavily on advice from others. Givers talk in ways that signal vulnerability, revealing their weaknesses and using disclaimers, hedges, and hesitations.

How Givers develop prestige in four domains of influence: presenting, selling, persuading, and negotiating.

Adam explains with examples when persuading, powerless speech consistently garners more support than powerful speech.

Powerful speech works well in leadership roles when all members are followers; however, when team members are proactive, powerless speech will serve the leader well and boost team performance drastically.

1) Presenting –

  • Takers tend to worry that revealing weaknesses will compromise their dominance and authority. Givers are much more comfortable expressing vulnerability: they’re interested in helping others.
  • Givers by making themselves vulnerable, givers can build prestige.
  • There’s a twist: expressing vulnerability is only effective if the audience receives other signals establishing the speaker’s competence.

2) Selling –

  • When selling, Givers ask questions in a way that conveys the desire to help customers, not take advantage of them.
  • By asking questions and listening to the answers, Givers shows their customers that they care about their interests. This builds prestige.
  • Asking questions opened the door for customers to experience what psychologist James Pennebaker calls the joy of talking.

3) Persuading –

  • speech styles signal who’s a giver and who’s a taker. Takers tend to use powerful speech: they’re assertive and direct. Givers use more powerless addresses, talking with tentative markers like hesitations tag questions.
  • Givers use soft approaches, putting across their ideas as suggestions, and are not concerned about credit. People are more open to indirect suggestions rather than straight-up solutions.

4) Negotiating –

  • While Takers try to create dominance in negotiation and Matchers call in favor of reciprocity, Givers adopt different strategies like seeking advice and letting people offer solutions.
  • Research shows that advice-seeking is a surprisingly effective strategy for exercising influence when we lack authority. Advice-seeking has four benefits: learning, perspective-taking, commitment, and flattery.

How Givers at the Bottom can Move up to Top (From Chumps To Champs)

1) Chunking & Sprinkling –

  • Chunking plans to give in a particular day or block of time, whereas sprinkling gives randomly as and when required or needed.
  • Research shows that chunking is more effective, and the giver finds it more satisfying and, as a result, able to contribute fully, whereas sprinkling leaves given exhausted with no real sense of satisfaction of giving.

2) Sincerity Screening –

  • It’s important to identify genuine givers and do a sincerity screening before offering help, as givers are more prone to fraud and cheating due to their nature of seeing the best in people trusting them.
  • The ability to recognize agreeable takers as fakers is what protects givers against being exploited. They don’t mistake a person’s agreeableness for a giver and disagreeable for takers.

3) Generous tit-for-tat – The Adaptable Givers –

  • Generous tit-for-tat is an Otherish (they care about benefiting others, but they also have ambitious goals for advancing their interests) strategy.
  • Selfless givers make the mistake of trusting others all the time, whereas Otherish givers start with trust as the default assumption. Still, depending on the other person, they’re willing to adjust their reciprocity styles.
  • When dealing with takers, shifting into matcher mode is a self-protective strategy.

Conclusion –

If you are a selfless giver, you will find many insights to move to the top. As a Matcher, you will find ample opportunities to help others without hampering your success.

If you are a Taker, this book will convince you to move towards giving, mastering the skill of giving and succeeding while uplifting others instead of using them as ladders.

If you like this book, you may also check out “The Slight Edge,” which signifies the power of steady actions.

You may follow Author Adam Grant on his Website for more insights.

I hope this summary of Give and Take helped you in some way. Do share your thoughts on the book in the Comment.

I wish you all the success.

Muzammil

Share with:


37 thoughts on “Give and Take Book Summary I Become A Giver”

  2. I?¦m now not positive about the place you’re getting your information, but great topic. I must spend a while finding out more or working out more. Thanks for the magnificent information I used to be in search of this information for my mission.

  3. Simply wish to say your article is as astonishing. The clarity in your post is just nice and I can assume you’re an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me grab your feed to keep up to date with forthcoming posts. Thanks a million and please keep up the gratifying work.

  5. I take pleasure in, it cause I discovered exactly what I used to be taking a look for. You’ve ended my four-day long hunt! God Bless you, man. Have a nice day. Bye

  6. I like the valuable information you provide in your articles. I will bookmark your blog and check again here regularly. I’m quite sure I will learn a lot of new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!

  7. I’m impressed, I need to say. Really not often do I encounter a blog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me let you know, you have hit the nail on the head. Your thought is outstanding; the difficulty is one thing that not enough individuals are speaking intelligently about. I am very glad that I stumbled across this in my search for one thing referring to this.

  8. Amazing blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A design like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog jump out. Please let me know where you got your design. Many thanks

  9. Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually is aware of what theyre speaking about on the internet. You undoubtedly know easy methods to bring a problem to gentle and make it important. Extra people need to learn this and understand this facet of the story. I cant consider youre no more common since you undoubtedly have the gift.

  10. What’s Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It positively useful and it has aided me out loads. I hope to contribute & aid different users like its aided me. Great job.

  11. Generally I don’t learn article on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very forced me to try and do so! Your writing taste has been amazed me. Thank you, very nice post.

  12. I will immediately grab your rss feed as I can’t find your e-mail subscription link or e-newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Please allow me know so that I could subscribe. Thanks.

  13. It’s onerous to seek out educated individuals on this matter, but you sound like you recognize what you’re speaking about! Thanks

  14. Heya i?m for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others like you helped me.

  15. Whoa! I’m really loving the template/theme of this blog. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s difficult to get that “perfect balance” between usability and visual appeal. I must say that you’ve done a excellent job with this. In addition, the blog loads very quick for me on Safari. Exceptional Blog!

  16. Hello there, just become alert to your weblog thru Google, and located that it’s really informative. I am going to be careful for brussels. I?ll appreciate in the event you proceed this in future. Many other folks can be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  17. Hey! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this website? I’m getting fed up of WordPress because I’ve had problems with hackers and I’m looking at options for another platform. I would be great if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

  19. My brother recommended I might like this blog. He was totally right. This post actually made my day. You can not imagine just how much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!

  20. At this time it appears like WordPress is the top blogging platform available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?

  21. I do believe that a foreclosure can have a significant effect on the borrower’s life. Foreclosures can have a Seven to ten years negative relation to a borrower’s credit report. Any borrower who have applied for a home loan or virtually any loans for instance, knows that a worse credit rating will be, the more complicated it is to acquire a decent bank loan. In addition, it can affect any borrower’s capacity to find a quality place to let or hire, if that results in being the alternative housing solution. Thanks for your blog post.

  22. Please let me know if you’re looking for a article author for your site. You have some really great posts and I think I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d love to write some material for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please blast me an e-mail if interested. Kudos!

  23. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is magnificent blog. An excellent read. I will certainly be back.

  24. I have learned some new things through the blog post. One more thing to I have recognized is that typically, FSBO sellers will certainly reject you actually. Remember, they can prefer not to use your expert services. But if you actually maintain a reliable, professional romance, offering guide and remaining in contact for about four to five weeks, you will usually manage to win interviews. From there, a listing follows. Thank you

  25. I’m blown away by the quality of this content! The author has clearly put a huge amount of effort into researching and organizing the information. It’s refreshing to come across an article that not only provides helpful information but also keeps the readers captivated from start to finish. Great job to her for creating such a remarkable piece!

  26. My brother suggested I might like this blog. He used to be totally right. This put up truly made my day. You can not consider simply how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

  27. I’m typically to running a blog and i really appreciate your content. The article has really peaks my interest. I’m going to bookmark your website and maintain checking for brand new information.

  28. Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long as I provide credit and sources back to your weblog? My blog site is in the exact same niche as yours and my visitors would really benefit from a lot of the information you present here. Please let me know if this alright with you. Thanks a lot!

  29. Good – I should certainly pronounce, impressed with your web site. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs as well as related information ended up being truly easy to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it at all. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or anything, site theme . a tones way for your client to communicate. Nice task.

  30. I am not sure where you’re getting your info, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thanks for fantastic information I was looking for this information for my mission.

  31. Excellent goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just extremely excellent. I actually like what you’ve acquired here, really like what you are stating and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it sensible. I can not wait to read much more from you. This is actually a tremendous site.

  32. I’m not positive where you’re getting your information, but great topic. I must spend some time learning more or working out more. Thanks for magnificent info I used to be looking for this information for my mission.

  33. Thanks , I have just been looking for information about this subject for ages and yours is the best I have discovered till now. But, what about the conclusion? Are you sure about the source?

Comments are closed.