Stop Saying You’re Fine Book Review I Be Better Than Fine

Book – Stop Saying You’re Fine – Discover More Powerful You (Review) 

Author – Mel Robbins

Genre – Self-help Book

Published in – 2011

I picked up another book by Mel Robbins after The 5 Second Rule and found it full of insights, and the book delivers what it claims. To shrink the gap between the life we want and the life we lead by showing the mirror and providing a guide to make amends.

I loved how she described Facebook – Facebook is nothing but heavily packaged “Kodak moments” that bear no relation to how people live.

“I can’t choose how I feel; however, I can always choose how I act.” And Choice to Act is what the book is all about.

About the Author –

Mel Robbins is a Television host, Motivational speaker, and Author. She is known for her book The 5-Second Rule, and her TEDx Talk “How to stop screwing yourself over” has g0 Million plus views on YouTube.

She inspires people worldwide with her book speaking engagements across most social media platforms.

About the Book –

Mel claims that we are bombarded with images and stories on TV and the Internet that sometimes make us feel everyone but me seems to live the life of their dream.

Even if most of what we see on social media may not be entirely accurate, it makes us feel like we, too, can do better, lead a better life, and accomplish more.

We are constantly operating from one of two forces inside us. Powerful us v/s Resistance us. And at every moment, we decide who will lead our actions. The choice is always in front of us: Turn on the powerful you and move forward, or give in to Resistance and stay where we are.

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Few Points that Jumped Out of the Book –

1) Feeling Stuck –

When we feel stuck, our thoughts become cloudy, and we think of all the things we missed by making decisions that we made, be it changing jobs, taking up business, changing industry, or marriage, instead of looking at what has changed for good for the things we said yes to.

2) Now v/s later Bias –

Part of our brain wants everything now (unconscious, which operates in survival mode). In contrast, another part of the brain has ideas and opportunities to explore, which will disturb the current order of life.

3) Chicken or Jerk Metaphor–

We are either scared of trying something for mostly false self-created reasons or angry for not taking action on time. This means either being anxious about future uncertainty (Being chicken) or regretting past missed opportunities or wasted time (Being a Jerk).

4) Focalism –

Whenever we think of changing anything and the repercussions of it, we are great at imagining all the bad things to the extreme and don’t focus on the good that can come with the bad.

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A few Points and Tactics to Consider for Changing One Thing At A Time

1) Auditing Current Space –

Putting down to paper where you are helping in coming out of a situation faster, what authors call auditing of life situation and explain it with Google Map example. We always have to put our existing location to know how long it will take to reach our destination.

• Choices – are as liberating (SA sign of freedom) as much has become pain. Too many options are as confusing as having no choice. We always think about what we haven’t chosen. Choice overload kills decision-making.

• Uncertainty – MMindsprefer safety over growth. It will expand little risk into major catastrophes and convince us to stay in line with routine. However, the technique shared in the books is simple, and with consistent application, we can beat our mind to its own game.

• Routine – Having a routine for some activities can significantly benefit and free up the mind for creative work; however, if we feel stuck in a routine and are not getting what we want, then it’s a clear sign we are using routine as an escape to change.

3) Focus Matters –

You miss many opportunities to change your life daily because you are not focused on what you want. You are focused on your problems and maintaining the illusion that you are fine, which the Author called Obstacle thinking. We convince ourselves and others that we can’t get what we want.

4) Outcome Simulation – Process simulation –

The Author encourages us to jot down and visualize outcomes in as specific details as possible and visualize being in the process, like our routines, people we will hang out with, work, office space, working on deals, negotiating with different people for jobs, etc.

5) A Few Key Points on Change –

• Changing one thing at a time, making small amend at a time, has a much higher chance of sticking with change than trying to turn life 180 degrees and falling back hard soon to old you.

• Change is evolution and a marathon consisting of many sprints in it. One thing at a time. As the proverb goes, “Slow and steady wins the race.”

• Changing all or not at all is one of the biggest excuses we use to stop from changing. Like exercise. We think of joining the gym, and then comes the picture: traveling time, post-workout shower, workout may take an hour or two, so we avoid exercise for not having two hours. Instead, we can begin some simple 15-minute practice at home.

6) Activation Energy –

Activation energy is the initial push we require to take the first step. That’s why the Author suggests acting in less than 5 seconds (The 5 Seconds Rule), as our mind is swift to kill any ideas, which requires us to move out of our comfort zone.

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I have also created a video of a few quotes from the book – I hope you like it. Please subscribe to my YouTube channel – Myread4change.

.Conclusion –

Stop Saying Your Fineis is filled with powerful suggestions to improve backed by facts and research and gives bite-size action plans anyone can take and turn around life, one thing at a time, for she believes “Changing your life is a race of distance, not speed.”

So stop saying you’re OK to others and, more importantly, yourself.

If you like this book, you will also love The Slight Edge.

I also recommend checking out Mel’s two free courses, #thebestdecadeever #mindsetreset, on YouTube. Full of insight and valuable material with step-by-step guidance.

Mindset Reset
was launched at the end of 2018, yet you can sign up for this course and finish in 35 days. With 10 to 20 minutes a day.

Best Decade Ever was launched in January 2020, and it’s the best way to look up to a larger vision, think, and plan the next ten years. Again, this course can be taken anytime and finished in 4 weeks by watching short videos and completing the suggested exercises.

I hope this helped you in some ways. Please share your thoughts in the comment below.

Wishing you great success…

Muzammil…